Every time you say "I can't because...", pay very close attention to what follows.
It may take some practice for the words to jog your awareness, but simply reading this post is a start.
I don't claim to have all the answers for you, but what I can offer is a new way of observing your life, beginning with the words you speak.
When we begin to pay attention to our words, we have an opportunity to take a closer look at what is really behind them: our thoughts. For many, we have been repeating the same "thought stories" over and over for years. A sort of autopilot, so to speak. Stories like, "I can't begin a weight loss program because I don't have any time" or "I can't change my career because I have been doing this for so long and it's all I know".
Sometimes we even blame others for our "stuckness" (yes, I'm making that a word) by saying things like, "I can't find peace in my life because the world is in such chaos", or "I can't be successful at my dream job because I was told all my life it doesn't pay very well". You may have heard and repeated these phrases to yourself so many times that you actually believe them. These limiting words come from limiting thoughts. They are habits.
Now please know that you are not being judged or criticized here. Your thought habits really aren't your fault. They have developed over time from several contributing factors. Factors like the family you were brought up in, the town you were raised in, the schools you attended, the friends you keep, society, humanity, you get it. They have developed for a reason. Maybe the reason these thought habits were formed was to keep you safe, to prevent you from feeling the pain of a broken heart, or to avoid the sting of failure. It may have even worked. For a while.
But these thought habits hold you in place and prevent you from moving forward. Maybe you didn't really notice it happening. Maybe at first it was subtle. Then, you had a feeling that something was missing. So you "checked out", or over ate, or drank too much, or made purchases that you didn't really need in an effort to fill that empty space inside you.
Then perhaps you began to feel constricted or held back. A tightness formed in your chest and it became difficult to breathe. Maybe you developed anxiety or even depression.
You need to know that if you are reading this, at this moment, you are ready for a change. You are ready to update your story and live the rest of your life with abundant joy, even if the thought of being really happy and successful scares the shit out of you! You are ready!
How, you ask?
Begin by paying close attention every time you say, "I can't." When you do, sit down. Be quiet. Close your eyes. Ask yourself why you feel incapable. See what follows. Listen. Be open to the answers. It isn't your imagination talking to you. You are not crazy. It is the voice of your soul that has been trying to get your attention by poking your emotions and increasing the discomfort of those emotions to nudge you toward change. You need to listen and hear how much you are loved. How much joy you have waiting for you in this life when you open your heart to it. You need to remember who you are and start living as though every day was the most precious gift. How, you ask again?
Simply be still and listen.
Don't look now, but you are meditating.