Transforming Anxiety

Morning is barely here.

It's still dark outside.

My eyes aren't even open yet; I can feel my breath quicken. My heart thumps in my chest. I feel what I can only describe as mild irritation, one that will not allow me to wake gently. It propels me from my bed to find relief--from what, I don't know.

I reach endlessly for distractions to rid myself of this nagging discomfort.

It's not too bad today, I tell myself. I know I should meditate before the momentum builds, so I sit and close my eyes.

I feel that all-too-familiar vibration in my body. The restlessness makes me want to run and never stop.

I quickly decide that this isn't going to work. I stop trying to force myself to sit in pain and discomfort, and I look for another solution. My thoughts are fragmented, switching from one track to another: searching for answers, searching for solutions, searching for reasons why my mind sometimes feels like it's working against me.